Chaos & Mayhem

A YEAR ON

2011-08-12T05:31:00.003+01:00

Its weird that I haven't blogged for over a year! My last post was from when I was in Manchester last summer for Rachael's birthday. A lot has changed, a lot has transpired, its perhaps time to provide a timeline or a narration of the series of events.

I had an internship with the CPS for a short time after the summer, wherein I was working and liaising with young offenders and their families in Bristol. Whilst doing that I was volunteering for the CAB, that brought on its own degree of self satisfaction and freedom of expression. Perhaps finally a practical usage of my legal skill and knowledge.

Work and friends and all moved at a boring yet fulfilling pace, for once I was actually at peace with myself and it all seemed well. I thought that it was a mistake leaving my job with the Carphone Warehouse, boy was I wrong. I guess, there was too much of a conscience on my part.

Throughout the end of last year, I managed to catch Train, AM, Coheed & Cambria, Deftones, Placebo, Goldfrapp, Noah & the Whale and a few more bands that elude my memory at this time. Managed to meet Pat Monaghan of Train when I saw them in Bristol, and he was beyond nice. All this was thanks to Emma, who I got the gig as a birthday present for. Got quite close to her in this time. She is amazing, and probably has one of the most level heads among all my friends. Still never really got around to telling her the true extent of how I feel and perhaps never will. It is always the drunken stupor in which I start blabbing madly and tell her everything, I really dont know how much she knows or what she knows. But the chemistry between us is amazing. :) I suspect she knows, but is perhaps a bit more committed with her bf. I'm not one to snatch so might just come to terms with it and let it go.

Work and bumming around carried on till most of the first quarter of this year, had a very flexible timetable and started getting very physically fit with many gym and football outings rather than going out and getting pissed. Managed to get to Somerset and Guildford in this time for Baby Jamesy and Stabbi. Perhaps my two other favourite places in the UK. Also, by this time I think a brotherhood had formed between Pete, Faariss and I. It was a place where anything could be said without any harsh repercussions or judgement. These truly were peaceful times, little did I know that this was the calm before the storm.

I spoke to my mum every other day at the time, and in April I was told that she was flying up to see us in May. She had booked her tickets for the 10th of May. I was overjoyed, it had been a while since I had seen her. Her trip was later delayed as she had some health issues, but I was reassured that she was merely going through a thorough physical and wanted to be in good shape before coming up. So I didnt think much of if. In the 3rd week of May upon her postponing her trip and everything, I was asked by my uncle to come home as my mum was ill. This was a shock and was rather puzzling. I had no idea it was this severe, I had to then pack up, book my tickets and sort out everything to go home on a semi permanent basis. It took us about 5 days to sort everything out, and a bit longer because of my idiotic sister losing her passport. Also, there was the looming threat and danger of the gas cloud in britain, against all odds, I flew on the 23rd of MAY and made it home.

My uncle, picked us up in the airport, only to tell us our mum passed away a few hours ago. I dont think I need to describe how I felt. I'm still not done grieving nor forgiving myself for the events that transpired. Too many what ifs? Too many maybes... Its been painful and tragic.

Here now almost 3 months on, I find myself dealing with her firm, handling my own business ventures, running my own companies and about to embark on the Malaysian Bar and many other things... I keep asking myself, why me? How would my life be if she was here?

To be continued.......

MANCHESTER

2010-07-05T16:50:00.007+01:00

We headed off to Manchester last weekend, and decided to splurge a little for some creature comforts. We got a hotel smack dab in the heart of the city. It still came with power showers, an IMAC, robes, an assortment of toiletry very friendly staff. Took a few pictures the minute I got there.

BLUE BAR

Lobby

The Room

Mini Bar

IMAC with remote & speakers that features digital radio, pc, tv and dvd player.

Window view

Bed

The complimentary breakfast that the hotel offered was one of a kind. It was really good. So on a scale of 1-10 (1 being the worst) I give the City Inn a 7.5.

Before I digress, the purpose of the trip was for Rachael's birthday. Having chilled out and all we went over to her house for a bbq/ party with friends and family. Rachy's family are very well knit and superbly pleasant. It was one of the best parties of the year and I had the time of my life. It has reminded me of my family and how close we are all knit.

We then ditched all the older folk and went on a booze up in Manchester. This was my first time in Manchester and I have to say, the whole experience was a complete surprise. It was more pleasant than I had initially anticipated. I will be back there again soon ish and recommend anyone to go there.

More pictures on : http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=177394&id=727454116&l=dae261edd6

FOOTBALL

2010-07-05T16:04:00.002+01:00

So the world cup is nearing an end now, and I find that the excitement isn't what it used to be. This may be due to the fact that Italy and England are now out. My choices are now limited to the Dutch. Let's hope they overcome all odds and finally win the world cup.

I do find that some of the romanticism from football is lost as you get older. There are perhaps are few reasons why this is such:

1. Refereeing is shit! They need some degree of goal line and offside technology.

2. Players are cheating bastards! They go down for the slightest nudge.

3. There is too much pressure on coaches and players alike and thus making them under perform.

4. Football becomes even more corporate year after year.

5. Clubs use money rather than good management and tactics to win games and trophies.

Regardless of all this, I still have love for the game in the hope that things might change. Occasionally we are braced with the fighting spirit and drive that is football. This was not more apparent this year than in Fulham FC at the UEFA Cup and Ghana at the world cup. So, there can be teams that inspire us all and remind us of the true football spirit. Let's hope there are more of them.

25 Matches

2010-06-19T18:33:00.004+01:00

The time has come where most men and some women will become unavailable for pretty much most things. Booze will always be in ample supply and tempers will flair. Its the FIFA WORLD CUP 2010 in South Africa.

The tournament began with most teams merely treading quite wearily. With the fixtures mostly ending in a draw or with a win on a 1 goal advantage with the exception of the Germans. The 2nd round of the group stage began with the smaller teams asking questions. The big names in the game particularly the likes of Spain, Italy, Germany and England managed only draws or defeats against seemingly lesser sides.

After the 25th match has been played in the group stage, I am left wanting more. In my mind, this seems like the worst world cup thus far. There has also been a fair amount of controversy on the match ball, the Jabulani. However, the teams are all professional and should have adapted to the ball by now.

The likes of Christiano Ronaldo and Valter Birsa have learned how to keep the ball down, why can't everyone else?

Valter

Christiano

Today's matches which featured Netherlands v Japan, and Australia v Ghana were no short of drama as well. The Japanese held their own against the Ducth and were unlucky to lose 1-0. They had some good defensive play and very creative attacking play as well. This combined with a Dutch side that was a calamity going forward gave way to a very scrappy but entertaining game.

The Aussie game on the other hand was one that was more equal, until Harry Kewell was sent off for a hand ball on his goal line. The sending off, coupled with a penalty saw Ghana equalize. The rest of a game was Ghana going forward to no avail, and the Aussie's making use of what little possession they had. The game ended 1-1. Hopefully the evening game has more drama and goals in store.

Absence

2010-06-19T18:15:00.002+01:00

I have so much to blog about, but never the time to actually do it. This seems to be the dilemma of attempting a consistent blog. Perhaps a quick recap of the past 2 months is in order first.

It looked like the last thing I was preoccupied with was my dissertation. Well, the proposal has been handed in and I'm currently spending a bit of time working on it.

After that, I went through a rigorous few weeks of sorting out coursework and presentations. After a few weeks of hard work, I then enjoyed the freedom of doing nothing. Apart from the random trips away and nights out. Then came the world cup, and from here on out, blogging is going to be a breeze.

DISSERTATION

2010-04-30T02:10:00.002+01:00

Work had got me very much out of the Uni frame of mind. It's been weeks, if not months since I was inspired. This is perhaps the dwindling feeling of what is looming after this. A step in the right direction that is my profession? The Bar? Settling down?

These were the thoughts that plagues my mind. Day by day, little by little just nudging me into a non caring state of being. However, in the last 48 hours something miraculous has taken place. I am inspired! I am flowing with ideas and plans for my research. I am looking forward to the 45,000 words and 90 minutes of presentations that are between me and my masters. This has never happened. Hopefully this LLM can inspire me further and sort my mind out once and for all.

This epiphany was realised with the dawn of my research proposal that is due in later today. I have since completed it and absorbed it. My standpoint of the history and implementations of anti drug legislation is seemingly unique. How unique this is, will be determined in the next few hours... *fingers crossed*

The reading on the Medellin & Cali Cartels have left me wanting more. This cements my love for law. Something I thought had vanished since I finished my degree. So hopefully this inspiration lasts and persists....

Day In

2009-10-06T14:19:00.000+01:00

I haven't had a day to myself for a while now. It's either class or work or dissertation woes all round. Today, I have decided to just laze and relax and catch up on all my TV shows and reading and to try and reply all my emails and calls. What can I say, it's been a nice lazy day so far.

I awoke and switched on the TV and Will & Grace was on, so I stayed in bed for a bit. After Scrubs and all finished I finally took the mandatory shower. Then on made myself some breakfast and then read this book which I've had for ages. It's called Change the World 9 to 5. The book features tips and facts on being a bit nicer to other people as well as reducing our carbon footprint. There was a line in the book which read "Know where you lunch is from: The average kiwi fruit uses up 5 times it's weight in greenhouse gasses to make its way to the UK!" That got me hooked on the book and I finished it, its the sort of book that I will pass around to my friends.

Simply brilliant

This one is called share your lunch.

I was psyched also by the fact that my graphic novels and DVDs which I had ordered had arrived today despite the damn postal strike in the UK. My Constantine books are simply brilliant and the artwork is so dark and ominous. What a nice day to sit and read. A cup of hot tea, a lit incense some Kings Of Leon, John Mayer and Eric Clapton in the background and a freshly lit cigarette (so very bad, but yet so good).

It's so very imperative that the mood and the vibe be described yet I feel I'm not doing it any justice here. Hmm... Oh well.. The bottom line is I think I wanted to be alone today, it's a nice time to sit in brood contemplating and organizing contemplations. The Constantine books were still really good though.. Have a look..

The films that I got were the Curious Case of Benjamin Button and Burn After Reading, both of which I haven't watched. So that will be done in the latter half of the day. I might socialize later tonight in the form of a jam session with Stu and his new synth piano, the past few jam sessions have been very good and thus making it even more anticipatory. Although this time I was going to get my Tele and amp involved in the process. Hmm... again this requires some brain work...

I walked out of my room to get an understanding of the weather and realized it was as bad as I thought it was. It was dark and gloomy and just almost depressing. However, it did fit right into the kind of day that I was in. It was just as dark and ominous as my books and had a very clear 'stay in' message attached to it.

DINNER TIME

2009-10-03T22:35:00.000+01:00

I got home from work and I was starving, and I mean absolutely starving. Beyond that, when I get really hungry I will be very specific with the kind of food I want. Today it just happened to be rice and korma. However, I was not about to get a takeout in the rain, nor did I want to get one delivered.

So I made an authentic chicken korma and made brown rice with parsley. This is the end product... Let me know what you think..

Having made this, I realized that I had't cooked for quite a while now. This has now inspired me to at least make time to cook for the rest of the week

BACK TO WORK

2009-10-03T19:07:00.000+01:00

I had dreaded today all week, as my one month holiday had ended. I was going back to work. It felt weird at first and everyone was busy as usual but somehow made as much time as possible to come chat with me and it was quite nice catching up with them. Somehow the one month holiday didn't seem like it was that long as I had spent most of the time sorting out my dissertation with the occasional frills. At the top of my head now I can only think of going to Birmingham and The New Forest. Although New Forest is always a very nice place to gather thoughts and at the same time have a mental time out, especially at Baker's.

I went through most of the day in a daze like manner and had just gathered enough consciousness to get to lunch. Will and I had planned this all day... We were going to head to Chandos at Cabot Circus. This is what I had...

Baguette with crayfish tails and rocket served with iceberg lettuce, cherry tomatoes and olives

Will went for a spinach and mushroom quiche

After lunch work had become more hospitable and I got back into the flow of things. I think it perhaps just required a certain amount of familiarity to kick start the whole thing. Before I knew I had finished and I was on the way home. Let's face it, it's never nice working on a Saturday but this one was not too bad. The rainy weather certainly wasn't helping things, but I somehow do appreciate and like the rain at times. Especially today. In short first day back wasn't bad at all.. :)

TRIBUTE TO THOUGHTS

2009-10-02T17:56:00.001+01:00

I have always been drawn to certain ideologies and theories that have somehow captivated my mind since I was a kid. One of the main things that has fascinated me all these years is the yin yang symbol and what it represents. The yin yang symbol stands for the balance of opposites. That is male and female, light and darkness, water and fire. It also encompasses the fact that, regardless of how evil someone is, there is some good in them. Also, on the same token regardless how good someone is there will be some degree of evil lurking in them.

This just to reiterate the fact that we are in fact human and our instinct may be regarded by some as evil (who the hell am I to judge). Anyways, I have to move on to the point of all this. I have always wanted to get 3 tattoos on myself. I have thought about for years. The first one was always going to be an Arian one (which I got done 6 years ago). It now rests on my right arm and I am very happy I got it.

For the 2nd tattoo I have always wanted a yin yang symbol. I have spent a good number of years just trying to figure out which one I wanted with all the ones out there at the moment. Something did catch my eye, oddly enough it was a piece of artwork from one of my favourite bands, Disturbed. This is what it looks like.

I did like it very much and have wanted for almost 2 years now but something always managed to screw it up. It got to a point where I was so annoyed about not being able to get it done. What was wrong?

My dad passed on when I was really young. I had always wanted some sort of tribute to him. As unlike other kids I did not have a dad growing up. But for the short time he was in our lives, he was a loving husband and father. My mum never remarried although she was widowed when she was quite young. That was the memory and effect that my dad had. I wanted to honour his memory in the form of a tattoo and I never really knew what to get. Oddly enough, today when I was randomly reading some stuff online (as you do) I discovered that the star sign Libra was almost similar to the yin yang ideology if not one and the same. This just blew my mind away, I have to incorporate some form of a Libra into that tattoo and maybe then it will be what I have been searching for.

Perhaps I will get a variation of the picture above and then incorporate my late father's initials and his birth and death date on the tattoo. This has just opened my mind up so much. I am very excited now on getting this done.

The First One

2009-10-01T15:30:00.000+01:00

I haven't blogged for so long that I didn't realized how much I've missed it. I suppose the best way to go at it is to perhaps just to kick start it as if I was in the middle of a good book (being that it's mid week and all).

This week was an awakening for many as freshers week has ended and classes have begun for everyone. This has not changed the fact that everyone is still drinking and partying like its freshers year. My freshers year was some time ago now. Just that starting over with a masters, kind of emits a vague freshers vibe all over again and it's a nice feeling. The bad thing is, that my mate Stu and I have been drinking every day for a fortnight now and this surely must have an impact on our bodies. Oh well......

In some crazy way to rectify this, I have stocked up on fruit and veg and wheetabix. I have been drinking only red wine the past few nights. I shall very much hope to end this spree by tonight. As the drinking would get in the way of class and I also start going back to work soon... T_T

AWAKENING

Today has been spent on sorting out as many loose ends as possible. Ranging from retuning emails, texts, phone calls, to bills, dissertation and contemplating a next module. Its not as productive as I hoped it to be, but it's a start in the right direction. Perhaps an organizer on my phone and one in my bad will help with all that.

The conversation I had with my mum has also managed to help me get my second wind in terms of motivation as I found myself losing what bit I had in the first place. This is perhaps the wake up call and nudge that I needed. Watch out world.. Here I come!!!